another day , another night

and its another night. and you feel exhausted. eyes tired wanting to sleep but your mind stays awake. your body feels like thrown across the ground with no energy to even lift itself.
its almost the dawn of the next day. you can still hear people having fun across the street at the bar. it no longer feels real. its an endless cycle. and you really begin to wonder where it began to feel that way. you cant have it all they say. and its true in a way.
you really question yourself , deep down searching for some clues ... desperately holding on to something that could explain your actions. something that could explain away others actions. something that made all this worth living for. the city of lights slowly blurred in your eyes. its time to rest before the sun comes out.

a city of reflections

its the city of blinding lights, every city is these days. the lights seem brighter due to the reflections in the water. life in the reflection sometimes doesnt seem to be brighter. one moment you are driving with the wind in your hair and the other you have nowhere to run to.

every turn you take you need to navigate through the countless canals to reach the destination. its fun. everyone here is trying to reach the destination, wanting to go somewhere. no one really does know where. they hope no one knows they dont know. you think you are living the dream of your life and then suddenly its all gone. it disappears. you sit here and think its a dream come true. but its only crazy, just waving a magic wand and think things will just stay so.
you look around. see the familiar faces, smiling. like pictures from a happy movie in slow motion. only that you know you are going back to an empty room. the separation hits you. you play back images in your mind, moments ... to a different time. time when you were living the dream, a time when you felt special, a time when you were loved.
thats precisely when you lose your innocence. an overwhelming need to be loved and belong. the desperate craving can lead you to the path of self absorbed indulgence. the city lives day and night and you are all consumed by it. it cannot wait and you flow along with it. it takes you on a crazy trip. and you think at the end you will live the dream. you do .. in a different way. keep your innocence, keep yourself alive.