of ifs and buts

the evening was getting darker , and so were his thoughts as he found his way through the streets. he had no destination in mind , just walking slowly with his hands deep in his pockets. he watched all around him , the people .. the fathers, the mothers, a frind , a lover , a husband , a wife , a politician, son , daughter ....... so many different roles. complex relationships entangled in the process of survival. he was unhurrid, just taking his own time and people hurrying past him , pushing past him in this crowded square. he had time to waste , he wanted to waste time .. while people were turning time to money , turning time to some accomplishment.
the dream of utopia will remain so .. just a dream as such. as with everything in this world he guessed mans obsession with utopia stemed from his sense of dissatisfaction of something in ones own life. but there was a longing for that utopian state where one can just be and not try. he knew that these thoughts led him nowhere in his life , did an add an iota of functionality to his already 'meanigful' life led by the needs of society , family and personal satisfaction as defined by others. how is it personal when the parameters are set by others , are we in the great illusion of oneself .. the illusion of being happy , he illusion of success , the illusion of satisfaction when all these are just determined by others .. standards set by others. but then man does grow in an environment and surrounded by others so is it his fault or is it a convenian excuse to be in the comfort zone. where was he in his entire circle , right in the middle of it.
yes he was questioning , thinking since he coud afford it .. since he had a home to go back to , food to eat and money to spend. what abut the man on the streets .. without a roof on his head and living for just survival. who is to blame for that. the man himself or society or his ancestors or just his destiny ? such people dont have an option , dont have a choice .. for some like them there was no option or choice whether to work or not , whether to make money or not .... cause they just needed to survive. they could care less for his morals , his ideals and dreams of what society should be .. cause reality was different. it hits you on the face so hard that if you hesitate , then god save you.